Here is a powerful post from Tim Challies about why he loves his wife more than his children and told them as much.
I expect that it is the same with the Father's love for the Elect, his children. He loves them because they reflect his image to him, because they remind him of the Son, because when he looks at us, he sees Jesus. However, His love for the Son is first and foremost.
The Godhead being thus begotten by God's loving an idea of Himself and shewing forth in a distinct subsistence or person in that idea, there proceeds a most pure act, and an infinitely holy and sacred energy arises between the Father and Son in mutually loving and delighting in each other, for their love and joy is mutual [...] We may learn by the Word of God that the Godhead or the Divine nature and essence does subsist in love. (I John 4:8) "He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." In the context of which place I think it is plainly intimated to us that the Holy Spirit is that Love, as in the 12th and 13th verses. "If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and His love is perfected in us; hereby know we that we dwell in Him ... because He hath given us of His Spirit." Jonathan Edwards, On the Trinity
Without the love of a husband and wife for each other, there would be no children to love. In a similar way, without God the Father's love for himself, we would not have the Son, and we would not have creation or redemption. Without God the Father's love for the Son, we would not have the Holy Spirit, and the means of our regeneration. So it is right and proper to say that God's love for himself is infinitely greater than his love for his children.
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